Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
