Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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