If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
