Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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