You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
