I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
