I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
