KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
