Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize