My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
