I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
