Just fell off a train. Bad.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize