There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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