I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
