she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
