Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize