I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
