I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
