Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
