Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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