chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.