his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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