so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.