I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
foreskin is a definite game changer
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
