so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
