what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have feelings that need drinking.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
