you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
