I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
