We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
