how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I need a burrito and a hug.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
