I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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