porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
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