Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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