What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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