the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i will never coherently bang her
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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