she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
