To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
