The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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