worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
