I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
