I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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