So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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