and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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