I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
