This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
