You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
