Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
