I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
