One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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