Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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