so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize