Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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