sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
