i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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