I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
