Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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