Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
