i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
