wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
