No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
