I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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