So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
smell my finger.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
