There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
