I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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