I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Success! We fucked roommates!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
