think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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