I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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