its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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