Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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