My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
thus making me awesome and them whores
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
