every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
