Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
