I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
