we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just high enough for therapy.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
