Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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